Cause and Effect

Recently, Sunny and I are having a lot of discussion about how to raise our children in such a distorted world. Both of us have not come to any conclusion yet but we are actively learning on how to be a "good" mum. What is the definition of "good?" Frankly, I dun really know.

A little event happened at home this evening. Valencia accidentally kicked off my bag from the chair while she was being cuddled by E1, I then wanted her to pick up my bag and place it back onto the chair. She refused to do so. I insisted her to do so by giving encouragement and big praise in terms of how big she is now and how great she has been all these while, she still refused to do it.

At the end, I got frustrated and told her off that I dislike her behavior and she is no longer a good girl to me. She immediately cried out loud. I left her alone and went off to do something else. (Some of you maybe wondering what the hell is E1 doing. Well, he is the "good" daddy to Valencia. He is a "yes" papa and me as an evil "no" mama!)

Later on, she tried to grab my attention by crying in front of me but I refused to have eye contact with her. (Yeah, I am childish sometimes!) After a while, I went to her and said to her that she was having a wrong attitude there and she should've picked up the bag and placed it back to its original position. To me, I am teaching her cause and effect. I thought I need her to know the consequences of wrong doings and how to rectify the problems. Not sure if I am doing it in a right way but I am trying to help her to lead her own life in the right path and to take responsibilities for any wrong doings. It is so tough to be a mum and when she cried out loud, my heart was aching too but I have no choice but to be tough on her.

After the event, I went for my shower. To my surprise, Valencia came to me and told me that she has put the bag back to its original place. She sounded happy that she has done so and I felt so light hearted that she could understand what I tried to deliver to her.